Happy Tears...........

   As Thomas and I headed for our last chemo treatment we tried to be positive. But in the back of our mind we knew there was a possibility that I would have to have two more rounds of chemo. We were prepared for good news and bad news. Luann took my blood and sent it over to the lab, then Debbie came in and informed us that Dr. Olivarez was stuck in traffic in Indy. They were to read by blood count and if all was good we were to start chemo and talk with her when she arrived. Thomas and I looked at each other knowing we had to wait a little longer.
   It became a joyous day at the cancer center. The good news was the CT scan came back showing the lymph nodes had gone down considerable. Some have gone back to the size they were a few years ago and some are back to lying dormant. The chemo did what it was suppose to do. Happy tears flowed down my cheeks. Thomas was elated. Dr. Olivarez was thrilled with the progress. We talked a little more about the future and what to watch for, but for now we kicked cancer's butt.
   Debbie came and helped me back to my chair and she also was excited, I think she even shed a tear or two. The other nurses were thrilled and we all did a little dance.
   As I got settle in my chair I sent a text to Sarah and Sandra at work. By then some of the meds were making me sleepy so I took a nap. Sandra stopped by and woke me up with a big hug and she was all smiles. Sarah had text on her break and was thrilled....You kicked butt Mommy!!
   I told cancer not to mess with me. I was stronger and more powerful than it was. Cancer still sucks. But I can put it on the middle burner now instead of on the front one. Now when I wake up it will become the second or third thing I now think of. Maybe life can get back to normal. Robin one of my other nurses wanted to know what Thomas and I was going to do on the next third Wednesday....Thomas said stay home and enjoy the day.
   Thomas and I have a couple of projects that we had put on hold but now we can proceed with them. I have a few trips planned in the next few months and I'm excited about them. I just have to get through the next three weeks with this chemo. The tired days, the hair falling out and the aches and pains.
   It will be worth it knowing that I--little ole me kicked cancer's butt.......

CT Scan..........

   I headed to the hospital a little after 7am this morning while it was still dark. I was scared,  nervous and couldn't stay focused. I had the radio on listening to the news but I really wasn't listening. My mind was on the CT scan that I was about to take. The scan would show if the chemo had done its job.
   I've tried real hard the past few days not to think to much about it. But just like cancer it's always on your mind. It's really out of my hands. I've done everything that I was suppose to. The doctor's and the nurses have done all that they could. So really it's in Gods hands.....
   I've had so many friends that have sent me cards, called me or dropped by the shop to let me know that they pray for me daily. Some of my friends send me text and let me know if there is anything they can do for me all I've got to do is ask. I get over whelmed some days with the love that is shown to me.
   I have my last chemo (I hope) on Wednesday. Thomas and I have to be there at 9am. So keep sending happy thoughts my way......xo
 
 

Cancer Sucks...........

Cancer Sucks.....
   It sucks up your energy, it sucks up your time and it sucks out your bank account. It will even try to suck all the color from your world. Cancer just plain sucks....
  Will the day ever come that when my first thought as I wake up or my last thought before I close my eyes at night won't be "cancer."
   For almost 10 years cancer has been like a dark cloud that hovers over me. No matter how bright the sun, there's that dark cloud. No matter how much I laugh or how great my day was come bedtime that dark cloud is still there. I just want to scream at it, "go away and leave me alone."
   Cancer makes even the most joyous person angry at times. I get angry when I don't have the strength to work for hours in my gardens. I get angry when I comb my hair and the sink is full of hair. I get angry when I have to re-arrange my schedule for cancer. I get angry when the chemo treatment makes me so tired that all I can do is lay in bed. I get angry that chemo is so expensive. Being angry is part of the journey for a person with cancer. We feel a hundred different feeling on any given day. But the feeling of strength and the faith to fight is there every second of the day.
   My journey is filled with a loving family and I'm blessed with a circle of friends who encourage me daily and who surround me with love and happy thoughts.
   But at the end of each day, as I set on my back porch I look around and see all the blessing that I have.
Cancer can pick on me all it wants but it will never, never win.

Rocky the new calf....

   Last evening was another night at Linda's house. While Thomas was doing his "out with the old and in with the new" stuff , Denise and I headed to the barn to visit with the new calf, Rocky and he's awful cute. We piddled around the barn for awhile and headed back to the house to see if Linda needed help putting supper on the table. Linda and I made plans for our next project at her house and we made some notes. By the time Thomas and I headed home the temperature was dropping and it was getting cool. He had to turn on the heater to warm my toes!!
   Hope everyone has an awesome weekend and takes a few moments to set a spell, close your eyes and listen to the beauty around you.........xo
  

Lizzie.....

   Sarah lost one of her Rottweiler's a few days ago. Lizzie was nine years old and was a special girl. Even though she was a big Rottie she had a gentle spirit. Sarah had rescued Lizzie when she was just a year old. Both of her Rottie's has stayed at our house for the past year. Each morning I would go out and give them a treat for the day. Sunday morning as I came out of the garage with treats in hand I didn't hear her normal, "hurry with the treat" bark. As I rounded the corner I seen her and I knew. I walked on over--bless her heart she was gone.
   Sarah and I had talked many times about Lizzie getting up in age but she was healthy. She never had any health problems. I made my way back to the house and called Sarah. It broke my heart to make that call and to tell Sarah that one of her baby's had passed away. Sarah and Pat headed to the house. We got her into the garage and covered her up. Sarah's heart was breaking as she loved on Lizzie for the last time. It was hard for Pat and I to watch as Sarah kissed her goodbye. Sarah had her cremated.
   Those of you who love your pets know the hurt that Sarah was feeling. Our pets become part of our family. They sleep with us, we tell them our secrets and we take them on vacation with us. When we've had a terrible day they give us unconditional love and make everything better. If your like Sarah you take them to the DQ for treats and Mickey D's for cheeseburgers.
                                 The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this
                          selfish worked, the one that never desserts him, the one that never proves
                          ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog.
                                                                                       Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Busy week....

   It's been a few days since I've been here, just been busy...
Tuesday night Thomas and I had supper at Linda's house. I fixed chicken casserole and dessert. Linda and Denise fixed a couple of side dishes. Janet, Linda's Mom ate with us also. It was good to set around the table and share funny stories. After supper Thomas helped Linda with a few "out with the old and in with the new" things around her house and I did the dishes.
   Wednesday was chemo #5. Was the same routine but it took longer. The center's computers were down and it took longer to get my blood test back. There were four new people receiving chemo for the first time. I took a nap during the first part of my treatment and when I woke up every chair was full, even the private rooms. I told my nurse Debbie it makes me sad to see these new folks. I was able to visit with my friend Rosemary and later in the afternoon Jan Hall came in for her treatment. We were able to head home about 4:15. It was a long and sad day. Even though the nurses stay upbeat and do their best to make your stay positive, it makes your heart ache to see so many people fighting this damn cancer.
   Thursday and Friday I didn't feel that great and Saturday wasn't much better. I slept most of Saturday afternoon hoping to sleep through the yucky feeling. Not for sure how I feel about my last treatment. At least I hope it's my last one. Dr. Olivarez told me she usually orders six to eight treatments for Follicular Lymphoma and she is hoping six is all I need. She scheduled a CT scan for the Monday before #6 and we will know if the last five has done what they are suppose to. If it didn't....well I'll cross that bridge when I get there. I've been fighting this damn cancer for 10 years and it has yet to get the best of me and I'm not going to give up now.
  Thanks to my friends who have sent text messages and phoned with happy thoughts....just keep sending them my way...xo

Hear me roar..........

   It's been an interesting day and a day of rush. I'm not one to work like a mad man but today we needed to at times. Got to the shop early to deliver a casket spray to the funeral home and then a few hours later the funeral home calls and they need another casket spray and could I get it there in 25 minutes. Seems there was a mix up. I got it there in 35 minutes. It would have been sooner but I got caught by the train!! I am woman hear me roar......
   Tomorrow will be chemo #5. Thomas and I have to be there at 9:15am. Send me happy thoughts tomorrow....

Holiday weekend....

   It's the last holiday of the summer. Everyone will be grilling out and lounging on their patios with family and friends. The next holiday is Thanksgiving and we'll be wearing jackets. Oh, what fun it is to live in the Midwest. Seasons change, but I enjoy the changing of the seasons. Fall is my favorite time of the year. Thomas and I enjoy taking a hike in the woods and relaxing on the back porch in the cool of the evening. This morning as I was watering the chickens and ducks there was a peacefulness in the air. The grass was wet from the dew, fog lingered over the pond and the sun was just coming up. I could see the path that Darrell and Darrell (my two Mallards) had made in the wet grass heading to the pond. It was one of those picture perfect mornings.
   Been busy at the flower shop this morning. I designed another casket spray, family pieces and made an altar bouquet for one of the local churches. After I leave work I'm heading to Linda's house for another day of out with the old and in with the new. It's refreshing to Linda to bid farewell to old things. It's a new chapter in her life one that she is looking forward to.
   Everyone enjoy the holiday weekend, find time to take a nap and enjoy your family.....xo

Sweet Potatoes......

   I purchased sweet potatoes plants back in the spring for me and Daddy to plant in his garden. We kept them watered and watched over them. As Thomas and I were driving down our driveway the other afternoon Daddy motioned for us to come over. He wanted to show us how good our sweet tators had done. As we were walking through the garden you could see the tators were peeking through the soil. Daddy reached down and worked a tator out and it was huge. He handed it to Thomas and said, "she'll go two pounds". Sure enough when I went home she weighed two pounds.
   The next day I made two sweet tator casseroles, one for Daddy and one for us. I can't wait till the first frost to dig them up. We'll sure have sweet tators for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
   We sure could use some rain. I've been watering my new trees that I set out this spring. Don't want to lose them. I've got a couple of Pecan trees that I have babied for the last three years. These were the seedlings from the Pecan tree at Tommy's that was over 120 years old. Tommy cut it down about two years before I closed the flower shop. Each year I would have little seedlings pop up everywhere. Two of the four have done great and they are almost three foot tall. The other two have been struggling. But plants are just like people some prosper better than others.
   Today was a good day at work. We received more Vera Bradley and a new line of angels. I designed a casket spray for a family and some other pieces for them. As many of you know casket sprays are my favorite arrangement to design. They are a work of art.
Everyone have a peaceful evening......