Making a poor man happy.......

   Was visiting with Daddy and Mom yesterday and Daddy was telling me of a segment on the news that he had watched the day before.
   It begins as the Dad was standing along the highway holding a sign stating that his family needed a roof over their head and he would accept any help. One lady stopped and told him she had an extra room at her home and gave him the address. He hurried to his family and they made their way to her home. It showed the family in a small bedroom with everyone setting on the bed. Mom, Dad, the five kids and the family dog. Everyone was smiling and happy to have a roof over their head. The Dad stated they we all so happy and thankful of the kindness that the lady had shown to them. The kids were laughing and caring on as kids do with not a care in the world. He told of how another lady had offered him a job of parking cars at an amusement park for $10 an hour and he said that was the most he had ever made for an hours pay. He said he felt like "king of the world." His family was warm and dry and all together. Actually, they felt as if they had just won the lottery.
   Daddy said that it don't take much to make a poor man happy. Everyday folks complain that their car isn't new enough, their house doesn't have enough room or they need a swimming pool. We're never satisfied with what we have. We as a nation always want bigger and more pricey items. We complain every day about not having what the neighbor has. How many times today have you said  to yourself...Oh, I wish I could have_______.
   Here was a family with hardly nothing but a few clothes and they were happy just to be all together in one small room with only one bed. We don't know how good we have it. We take for granted all the little things that we have and always want more. Is your health good? Are you happy? Do you have food for supper tonight? Do you have a roof over your head?
Look around....look at all the things that you have that so many folks dream of. You're a rich man to them. They proably wish they were you. When you lay your head down tonight in your cool house think of that family and the many other familys who are sleeping in their cars or under a bridge or in the park covered with a card board box. Look up and say thank you Lord for all that I have been blessed with and help me to help someone tomorrow.

Rain on Monday...

Do you remember the song back in the 70's by the Carpenters--Rainy days and Mondays always get me down--was the chorus. I still have that album. You remember those vinyl albums don't you? How many of you still have your collection. Thomas and I still have ours and our 45's. I still have some of Sarah's. Sandra never owned any, she was in the cassette era, she has a couple of shoe boxes at the house filled with cassettes.
Anyhow--the sun is out and no one should have the rainy day Monday's blues.
 It's quiet in the flower shop. Not much going on. It's nice to have days like this. You can get caught up on things and do some cleaning.
Was out at lunch running errands and went to Sandra's office to check on her. Today was her first day back to work. I could tell she was back to her bubbly self...as I entered her office and headed down the hall I could hear her say..Hey, Mommy...whatcha doing??
Thomas is off on vacation this week and he has a couple of things that he wants us to go and see. We didn't get to go to Florida for 15 days as we usually do. Chemo kinda got in the way. But we will do some mini vacation days here and there and we have some things planned this fall for a couple of days.
Let me know if you still have your album collection!!!

Farmers Market

   I got up early this morning so that I could visit the Farmers Market before heading into the flower shop. As I was almost ready to leave home Sarah stopped in and we set on the porch and visited awhile. It was a beautiful morning. The air was cool, the Cardinals were feeding on the corn feeder and the back yard had a few rabbits out feeding.  My two Mallard ducks, Darrell and Darrell were heading to the pond.You needed a sweeter to take the chill off. Sarah and I had a good time laughing and catching up on her week. I tried to talk her into meeting me at the market but she had some errands to run
   As I pulled into the parking lot folks were already buying fresh potatoes and lettuce buy the bag. I could smell fresh baked bread and hand made soap. I visited with a couple of friends who had purchased some soap and they were telling me how the one kind is good for removing soil stains from a hard day in the garden. We gave each other a hug  and I headed to the herbs and checked them out. I  made my purchase of bread and looked through the vegetables. I was looking for fresh fruit, I knew it was  a little early but was hoping to find some.
Lingering at each booth and checking out all the goodies is good for the soul. At one booth they were selling wooden items and a young man was playing his banjo and singing an old George Jones song and I began to hum to myself as he played. The morning couldn't have been any sweeter...

Finally Friday.....

It's been a long week...... Sandra is feeling better and on the mend. Talked to her today and she was feeling lots better. I'm just tired. Wednesday wore me out. I called one of my many nurses today and talked to her about how bad Wednesday was and she's going to check with the doctor to see if or how we can change the next chemo treatment. I told her things had to change somehow. I ask a lot of questions...why was I given two Tylenol & why was I given Benadryl.  Lydia states,with the drug Rituxan there is a side effect of  your heart rate dropping or your blood pressure dropping to low and the Tylenol and Benadryl  somehow keep that from happening. Then I ask, do you know for sure that would happen to me-- maybe I'm different--maybe I'm not like everybody else. She just laughed and said well, maybe you are. I just know that I don't want to hallucinate and be a zombie for 12 hours the next treatment.
I'm not a pill taker. When I have a pain I don't take pills, never have. I just deal with it. I don't do well with Tylenol or Excedrin I always have a nervous reaction to them.
I"m in control here, not the cancer. I call the shots--not cancer. I refuse to let cancer ruin my summer. They all need to get together and figure this out. So, they have a till July 6 to get all their ducks in a row.
I"ve been discussing it with Sarah, she is my book of knowledge when it come to science and health. Who knew that her degree at Ball State would come in handy one day.
It's time to call it a day and set on the back porch with Thomas and forget about cancer for a while.....

Nothing but a blur....

   Yesterday was chemo day and I don't remember much. Thomas and I headed to Seymour about 8:30am.
I got settled in and my nurse Debbie came over and we chatted for a bit. She starts by giving me two Tylenol and then a dose of Benadryl through the vein. The Benadryl will make you sleepy and calm your nerves. Looking back last week I had a reaction to it, but I never gave it a second thought. I have restless leg syndrome. I sometimes have to soak in a hot tub to relax the nerves in my legs after being on them all day. It's just one more thing that you learn to live with. 
Debbie begin giving me the rest of the chemo drug, Rituxan. I began to relax from the Benadryl and then I just kinda went into a disco fever dance. I was a nervous twitch. My legs began to twitch, my arms were shaking and I felt like I didn't have any control over my limbs.
Thomas was trying to hold my hand and comfort me. He helped me stand up and the nurse came over concerned. I told her I can't take much more of this. She gave me a shot of something and it was suppose to void out the Benadryl. Still to no avail there I set shaking my arms, twitching my legs. Thomas at this point was becoming really concerned. Debbie came back over and I was in tears by now. I told her I can't do this. I"m having a nervous reaction to it and I don' want to feel like this. She gave me another does of what ever she gave me before and I began to feel calm. After that last dose I remember nothing. I don't remember the ride home, nor getting into bed. Thomas said Daddy talked to me and I answered his questions about my day but I don't remember even seeing my Daddy. I really don't remember nothing till about 3am this morning. I slept 12 hours and was out like a zombie.
I"m glad Sarah and Sandra were not with us. I wouldn't want them to see me like that.
As I set there twitching I tried my best not to cry. I tried to put my mind in another place, like walking on the beach last summer with Thomas. But I could not calm my self. It's an awful feeling not to have control over your body.
   Today I'm a little better. It was a rough start but I got it all pulled together and I came into work. I was glad that Heather and I  were busy and we almost ran out of flowers. Keeping your mind busy is a good thing. Talking to customers who have no ideal what your going through is a blessing. They talk to you like your normal. Most of the time they also have health problems. They say, "You're so lucky that your healthy"  I just smile......

Monday update....

   Just got Sandra home from hospital. She did great. Everything went as planned and now she can get back to playing volleyball on Wednesday nights.
   I"m glad I was feeling better today so that I could be with her. Saturday and Sunday were bad day's for me. I had zero energy. I felt like I had been hung on the clothes line and beaten with a broom.  I said my prayers this morning and told the Lord that I needed a ton of energy today for my little girl. Thanks for hearing my prayer, Lord!!
   I go back this Wednesday for the other half of my chemo from last week. They wanted me to ease into the stronger drug. I take two steroid pills each day  five days after each chemo so today is day five. Makes you wonder why they would give steroids to an already over weight woman who has cancer. It's just one more thing to worry about. But at least it's only five days. But they figure I need to keep my strength up. But I've lost nine pounds, so I can't complain. I also take a pill to ward off shingles and chicken pox. I never had chicken pox when I was a kid. Sarah and Sandra had them when they were little but I never caught them. Sure don't need them now.
   With my cancer my immune system is shot and I can pick up any kind of germ. I wash my hands all the time and when I have to shop I wash the cart down with those wipes. The chemo kills even my good cells that fight off germs so I can't win for losing. They tell me not to even shake hands with folks. But I'm a hugger so maybe I won't have to touch peoples hands. I would rather hug than shake hands--:)

Everyone have a good evening....I"ll be back in a few days!!

Supper with Linda...

   My bff Linda and I headed south last night for a girls night out. It was good to get out and escape from chemo. Linda needed an update and then we didn't talk about it for the rest of the night. We had a fun time. We ate dinner and took our time. We must have set there for two hours. The waitress must have come back seven or eight times to check on us. We always told her we were fine, but she did kept our drinks (water & tea)  filled. There was about a 45 minute wait for a table but we had to wait and we figured everyone else could wait too.
   We got caught up on our kids and life in general. Linda talked of her collage days and we had a big laugh. Sarah tells me of things she did when she was at Ball State and some of them I would rather not know. Funny how your kids tell you the things they did years afterwards. Guess they figure you can't punish them now. I just shake my head.....
   Not much on my agenda today with the rain. Daddy made me a new birdhouse so maybe the rain could hold off for abit while we mount it.
   Hope everyone enjoys their weekend and takes time to set, relax and laugh with your family.....

Was good to be back in the flower shop...

   It was exciting getting ready for work this morning. Things have been going good the last two days. I have just a few symptoms for now. I have a metal taste that comes and goes, I sometimes feel like a bobble head when I walk and I feel giddish at times. It's really scary to have all these powerful drugs in your body, when we've always been told to stay away from harmful drugs. But I guess harmful drugs are good for you when you need them. My appetite has changed and pizza just don't sound good. Been eating lots of fruits and green veggies. I have a list of things that I should and shouldn't eat.
   I try my best to stay positive and so far I haven't cried since Wednesday. I kinda lost it when I had to sign the papers to receive chemo. Thomas said he seen a tear fall from my cheek onto the floor. Sarah and Sandra was so strong for me they took hold of my hands while I broke down as I set in the chemo room and they both give me "the look" and told me to be strong and we will get through this. At that moment I felt like I was the child and they were the mother. Thomas also took my hand and held it while they prepared my arm.
   Mental attitude is everything. I could set around and say, "Oh poor me" but that's not me. I don't need people feeling sorry for me, I need happy thoughts sent my way. I will get through this journey and I will be stronger.
   I appreciate everyone who has sent me cards, text me and called me just to let me know they care. We've set all my cards on the dinning room table so that I can see them often. They make me smile...:)

  

Update on Mom...

Hey everyone, It's Sandra...

We all got to the Cancer Center and 8:30. It was a scary going in, but it was something that we all had to do. Sarah, Thomas, myself and mom, was taken into one of the rooms and they did a teaching class on what to expect during all the treatments. After that, we all headed to the treatment room. Mommy did real good until she set down in the chair, she cried a bit and Sarah and I told her it was going to be fine. Some of the nurses also told her everything would be fine. So she wiped her tear away and they preparred her arm and began her Chemo. She only took part of the Chemo today and will go back next Wednesday for the rest, due to the dose being so strong. She got home today around 1:30pm and Thomas helped her into bed for some rest. Keep thinking good thought of mom and I found out I have to get my gallbladder out Monday morning. When it rains it pours...
I will keep you posted until mom gets back

Sandra...

Getting back to normal.....

   It was a good Festival, it was humid but at least we didn't have any rain outs. It did rain Saturday about 2am. It rained so hard that the water ran off the school's roof and damaged two tents. The one lady said she just needed to go home. She was from Brown County and it just wasn't worth it to drive back and get her other tent. It was her first time at the Festival and she was surprised of how nice it was. She made me promise I would send her an application for 2012.
   Sunday I spent a couple hours packing everything back in totes for next year. I called Linda to make sure she had all the BBQ sauce washed off and she was packing things away too.
   Saturday evening I had quite a few folks stopping me and wishing me well. My cousin Steve and I had a good visit. He lost his Daddy (Dale) to cancer a few years ago. I love Steve, him and I are awful close. We talked for a while and I couldn't hold back my tears as we talked. My good friend Wanda came over and she wanted me to know that she was keeping me in her prayers. I do ok when folks talk to me but when it's someone that I feel close to I get emotional. Wanda just hugged me and cried with me. Some folks had been through the treatments and are in remission. They just wanted me to know that they made it and I will too.
   Wednesday will be here before I know it and I'm not ready. It's scares the hell out of me. I'm tearing up just writting this. I will have Thomas, Sarah and Sandra by my side but my heart aches for them having to set and watch. I had a friend tell me years ago it's not the cancer that kills you but the stuff they give you that kills you. But then on the other hand folks tell me that they have made improvement in the treatments and the side effects aren't as bad. But still it's powerful stuff to be putting into your body. It's the not knowing that scares you. How fast will by hair fall out, will I be sick all the time, will I be able to work in my flower beds and mow my grass. I just need to stay positive and fight like hell and hope that all these treatments go fast.

It's quiet.......

   All is quiet out on the festival grounds. I like to walk around this time of night. There is a sense of peace. I just made my walk and there was just a few folks still in their booths cleaning up. As I was walking I wondered would this be my last festival? Would I have the strength to do this again--I have made some wonderful friendships with my vendors. Each one is special to me in a different way. Some have been with me for 20 plus years. But then I think to myself, I am strong and I will be back and I will continue to direct the festival at least till I am 99. They will have to buy me a motorized chair and I can point directions with my cane. Can't you see me and Linda having races up and down hamburger alley (that's what we call the area where all the food is) we could take bets on who wins!!!
   I had a few people come up to me tonight to tell me that they were keeping me in their prayers and I will be fine and I will beat this. That makes me tear up but it's nice to know that folks care.
   Today was an easy day. I was informed last night that my hurricane problem has been removed. I was so relieved I won't have to put up with that anymore. Maybe putting on the festival will be easier from now on.
   Sandra called last night and she wasn't feeling well. She went to the doctor today and she might have to have her gallbladder taken out. That's just one more thing for me to worry about. She is of me and she too is strong and we don't have time to be sick.
   Well, I'm getting tired and I'm headed home. Tomorrow will be an all day event. Make sure you come and enjoy the festival with your family.

It's here.....

Today starts the festival for me. I woke up early and got to work on the flowers for the Princess contest. It was still cool enough that I was able to set on the back porch in my night gown. By the time I was done it was already getting hot. Setting up the festival  is easy for me...I think I can do it blindfolded. But this morning I was very nervous and gittish. I'm not one to get nervous over stuff. But then I remembered that I had chemo next week and it made sense why my nerves was bothering me. But I put on my big girl panties...lol and told this damn cancer that I had a festival to put on so it better take a back seat.
I've already set a few booths and I'm ready to tackle the rest of the week. My bff Linda gave me a hug and we had some quiet time and all is good now. So I will see you at the festival. Come and see Linda for one of her world famous FFA Pork burgers.

Stress.....

It's a known fact that stress will kill you. The past couple of days have been good for me. But waking up this morning at 4:30 my mind was wondering here and there. As I laid there I could feel Thomas holding my hand while he slept, which brought a tear to my eye. Lily and Bristol were stretched out sound asleep. All was right with the world...the quietness of our home was so peaceful. Then I closed my eyes and cried. I bottled up the moment and saved it.
It's just been one of those days. I always have the radio on when I drive, but this morning all I wanted was silence. I fought back the tears all the way to work. I sucked it up and was not going to let this damn cancer get the best of my day.
Stress will be double for the next few days with the Festival--if I let it... I have the same person year after year who causes unneeded stress during the Festival. I pity them, seems they always have a hurricane brewing around them. But after 28 years I have learned to let their crap fall on deaf ears. We all should let others peoples hurricane's not get in the way of us enjoying our day. We should block out all stress and be thankful that we got another day. I can hear you say, "yeah, that's easier said than done".
Another day to make your friends laugh and to say Hi to a stranger. You just never know that stranger might be an angel.
Speaking of angels seems there was one in Uniontown just a couple weeks ago. Cindy seen her too. I'll tell you about her another day......

Hey you all....hope you had a great weekend. Mine was good. I did get to spend some time on my back porch. I didn't get to read a good book, but was able to review my paper work for the Red, White & Blue Festival. The festival begins on Wednesday evening with the Methodist hosting a dinner and the carnival holding bracelet night. The festival will keep me busy this week and keep my mind off of chemo.
Most folks say I'm crazy for directing the festival but I've been called worse. I enjoy it and the good out weights the bad. I'll keep you posted on the crazy people's request. They have already started!!
I've been getting phone calls from friends wishing me well. That means at lot to me, knowing that friends are keeping me in their thoughts.
I have a great-nephew that I think the world of. He's kinda like my own. As I was coming back from lunch today I hear someone holler at me....Hey Auntie......There is Aaron-- DRIVING...... I knew he was close to getting his license. I stood there and watched him drive....I must have had a grin a mile wide. So everyone watch out for Aaron....

Wasn't looking forward to getting my regular schedule hair cut last night. But I made it through. Tammy was running a bit behind which was perfect for me, I didn't mind at all. It gave me and Tammy time to be alone in the shop and talk about getting me a wig.
I've know Tammy (Hill) Lee for over 25 years. We worked side by side at  U.S. Shoe. I babysit for Brent and Erika many times. I use to tease Brent that I changed his diaper and that always made him blush. Tammy takes very good care of me and Thomas, she also cut the girls hair when then lived at home.
Tammy cried with me as I began to tell her that I needed to began treatments. Tammy lost her Daddy, Keith Hill just a few years ago so she knew how I was feeling. I told her no ball caps for me and she agreed...you are getting a wig and I will style it and no one will know the difference. Tammy is very special to me and we've had a lot of good talks over the years.
So enough about cancer....
I have Saturday off and I can't wait. I've got a few things that I need to do out in my flower beds and I will get a good book and set on the porch in the swing and enjoy the afternoon. Daddy calls my back porch just another room. I guess you could say that, it's awful comfortable. Everyone enjoy your weekend and be careful....xo

I just sat down for lunch and decided to blog a bit. I had a comment from Chelsea, who's Mother went through cancer and kept her hair in a zip lock bag. Wow!!--made me cry...but it doesn't take much any more for me to tear up. Thank you Chelsea, I'm glad your on my team for my journey. To Shelley who already sent in her RSVP for the big party--I love you girlfriend.
I"m just sad today. I need to call the Cancer Center and ask them some questions but I keep putting it off. I scheduled a hair cut about four weeks ago with Tammy.  Little did I know that besides getting a trim I would have to talk with her about helping me get a wig. I'm not wearing a baseball cap or one of those head scarves. Sorry folks...I'm not drawing attention to myself. I"ve seen so many bald headed women and it might be ok for them--but not me.
Cindy just text me and gave me info on a business in Madison who gives Cancer patients free wigs. Also, there is a place in Louisville. Don't be looking for me to go blonde--Shelley already offered hers!! I was born a red head and I will stay my same color. Lunch is over, back to designing flowers. Life does go on.....

my weekend

I kept my self busy this past weekend. There was plenty to do in my flower beds and I finished painting my screened porch. Keeping busy is good medicine.
Thomas and I kept the news to our self for over a day and then I started telling my loved ones. I told our girls, Sarah is my rock and Sandra is the emotional one. When hard times come it's Sarah that you need around. Then I headed to tell Daddy and then went inside to tell Mom. Later that evening I started telling my girlfriends, Cindy, Linda, Shelley, then Heather at Jubilee. I won't go into detail about everyone's reaction cause I don't want to cry.
Saturday Daddy came back and he helped me feed the chickens and he started to tear up and said he just couldn't come back to my house if I wasn't here. Then we both teared up. So we made a pack--that if he would live to be 90 that I would fight this cancer and I would help him celebrate with him and have a big party. So we shook on it and he said, "it's a deal. So we both will still be here in five years and you all are invited too the party.
I made a few other calls to folks, I wanted them to hear it from me and not the gossip line. Those who gossip never get anything correct.
I'm doing ok. As long as I don't ponder on it to long. But then you think of something and you cry. It's the unknown that you fear-- how will these treatments affect me--am I going to still be able to do all the things that I always do. I told the nurses at the Cancer Center that we could set me up a room and when Heather got backed up on orders they could send them to me and I would design while getting chemo. They laughed and said they would love that.
I get tied easy now and I'm not that hungry. I have been eating a lot of fruit the last few weeks and it always taste good.
Have a good evening and I will talk to you tomorrow!!